Thoughts on home design

This has been happening to me enough lately that it's sprung to the forefront of my brain and challenged through clenched fists and teeth for some solution, some reprieve. It seems (through extensive trial and erro) that bathrooms serve two distinct and mutually exclusive functions: Cleaning oneself and evacuating from one's innards dirty, filthy, gut-wrenching waste.

Now, some might say they are both acts of cleansing, one ridding dirt from the skin, the other sweeping more unnamable things from within. To those I say, spare me your metaphysics! Deliver to me such measured arguments whilst showering in a smelly bathroom. Methinks you won't be able to.

Assume briefly that you wake early one morning, perhaps after a big meal of Indian food or Mexican food or the food of some other spice-friendly ethnicity. Lo and behold, walking down the hall, itching your scalp, scratching your groin, you realize that both functionalities are in direct and immediate need of addressing. There is no way to order A) bathing and B) toiley-use that will provide a satisfactory conclusion. B then A deadens the effect of the shower for the sure acridity of the bouquets swirling about. A then B, well, that negates the effect of A, doesn't it?

So I say: Architects and carpenters, cleave to your fate! Two separate rooms are in order! Or at least a stout hermetic seal.