Regarding biblical interpretation

Rodney Anonymous, who knows more languages than I, on the topic of Ten Commandments in federal buildings, gives a breakdown of not only biblical interpretation, but the vagaries and latitude translators must take to get a readable translation. This is perfect. I mentioned the varieties of interpretation next door like ten minutes ago, and now I've found this:

Jews, for example, translate the Fist Commandment as "I am the Lord thy
God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of
slavery" while Catholics read it as "I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not
have strange gods before me" (Normal Gods, sure; but no strange ones!),
and the Protestants come up with "Thou shalt have no other gods before me"
(Strange or otherwise).

Well, this is what you get when you translate something from Hebrew ("The
Ten Utterances" עשרת הדברות) into Greek ("Decalogue" δέκα λόγοι), then into
Latin and, finally, into English. Now you see why I encourage all of you to
learn Greek and Latin (I'm assuming that either you're all Jewish and
already know Hebrew or, failing that, at least know a Hebrew)?

Hell, even the placement of commas (non existent in Hebrew, Greek, and
early Latin) can cause an irreparable schism. Check out how the
Protestants punctuate the following sentence:

Verily, I say unto thee, This day thou shalt be with me in Paradise.

In other words, the thief on Jesus' left (or right? If you know; email me)
will be playing Yatzee with the Big J.C. in Heaven before midnight.

Here's how the Papists precariously punctuate:

Verily I say unto thee this day, thou shalt be with me in Paradise.

Translation: "Someday, and I'm not being specific as to when, you and I
will do lunch at the Paradise Café." This version leaves room for the
concept of Purgatory which, coincidently, Protestants don't believe in.

Now you see why I encourage all of you to be Atheists?

Rodney Anonymous Tells You How To Live