And plus, it's hella cold in here

Two creepy Italian professors explain that Michaelangelo's David's manhood and corresponding bits aren't small, given the circumstances. This contradicts the prevailing opinion that the marble man is of proportionately dinky schlongitude and shows the bizarre lengths people will go to assuage the bruised psycho-sexual self-image of once-great nations that now suck at everything.

"Here we have a naked man who is about to fight. He has an orthosympathic activation consistent with the combined effects of fear, tension and aggression. A contraction of the genitals is totally normal in such conditions."

Shrinkage? Normal? Pffft, maybe in Italy, but not stateside, am I right fellas? Hell yeah.

Mine grow. Huge.

But then, were huge to begin with.

So, get even bigger.

Lots bigger.